I Am My Brother's Keeper

You all knew it was coming...don't even begin to pretend you weren't aware of a continuation.  My brothers, my sights have returned to the centers of your foreheads.  In previous updates I would speak on you subliminally, secretly chin checking you for being the manipulative bastards you are.  I tired of carrying on as if women couldn't be douchebags too, but the new phase is over...and my focus has returned.

You narcicistic, ego-maniacal, narrow minded, and prejudiced little boys who don't have the strength of character to take someone seriously.  Always playing with and jeering the delicate creatures we can't stop complaining about because you play the game until you burn out the cartridge.  You beat them, talk to them like sh!t, give them diseases, leave them alone with children, abandon them as children, lie to them, and treat them as inferiors.  You carry out such destructive behavior without even bothering to learn who they really are.

I understand they aren't perfect and neither are we.  The few of us with some decency catch the short end of the stick because the @ssholes ruin it for everyone.  Still I wonder how you win every time.  You get the girl in public while I have to clean up after you when I get the butt cheeks behind closed doors.  I get tired of putting a woman back together again after you've broken her to pieces!  Did you ever think we might actually LIKE the girls you take advantage of?!  That we'd fancy a relationship if she would still be willing?!  No, you didn't!  We, instead, get the tattered leftovers you can do no more with than momentarily enjoy...

It doesn't just end with the way you treat women either, no, you'll treat your brother the same.  You'll leave him stranded 1800 miles from home in a thunderstorm while he's ill, you'll pressure him into doing something he's wise enough to have apprehensions about, you'll forget your debts to him the moment he needs you and, worse yet, dare to declare he owes you for your valiant deeds.  You'll play war games with his life as the barter...you aren't men...you aren't even human.

As if that retarded college girl's mind is any more feeble than your own...you're just used to it.  She has to adapt to being stupid while you already profess the field.  You constantly play a risky game she's only just joined to test the waters, yet you swarm and abuse the newb.  How cowardice is that?  I may have asked her a simple question, considering how simple her mind is now, but, for the life of me, I can't fathom a simple enough question for you all [men] to answer.  I feel like I'm trapped in a country full of headbangers who snort rock salt, drink bleach, pop rat poison, and smoke pine needles.

The most depressing part is there isn't even a bright side to consider...

I'm too frustrated to continue.  People...the reasons why I'm a recluse...

I Don't Believe In Love

Women kill me.  I don't know what exactly made me randomly decide to b!tch bash but I feel a change in tone is due.  Usually I spend large amounts of time complaining about society, money, depression, politics, morons, and religious bullsh!t but today won't be the same.  No, today is about selfish sluts, two-faced tramps, cheating cun+s, and shady skeezers...the whole thing....

You know, I get tired of women blaming men for absolutely everything.  Listen, b!tch, you're an adult...think for yourself and accept responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof.  I constantly read drawn out status updates, tweets, and blog posts about some lonely college girl who can't find a good man and is sick of all the games.  Simple rhetorical question to a simple minded female, why the fu©k do you keep playing the games then???

It's so stupid to rush into a full blown devoted and monogomous commitment with someone you just met and had sex with yesterday.  You wake up kissing all over him with horrible morning breath and calling him your baby, watching him sleep, cooking him breakfast, buying him gifts, calling him all day every day...are you serious?!  In your rash attempts to not be branded a slore you've completely smothered a man into a relationship he didn't want because you want to erase your one night stand by fabricating some sort of sentiment around the memory.  Then, after he's fed up, given you more of his life than he was willing in the first place, and leaves you HE'S the criminal!

Let's all be of mature mind here.  We're all adults and are capable of making our own decisions.  It's not like he hypnotized you, no, you WANTED to screw him!  You can't change the rules after you've already started playing the game!  It's even less fair to bash him over what you did to yourself!  It's obvious you need to stop drinking, stop doing drugs, learn to control your sexual impulses, or any combination of the above.

I'm a 26 year old man who hasn't had intercourse or even mutual masturbation with a partner in 10 months.  Why do I have the honor of being included in your over generalized "Man Bash Revolutions?"  I didn't have anything to do with you idiots making insanely stupid decisions with your bodies and hard earned belongings at all for almost a solid year!  That's grossly unfair for me to have to endure having my pride and dignity stripped too.  It took a lot of discipline to accomplish that given the stage of life I've entered.  Besides, I was never one of those types of guys anyway, I preferred to play the background and get the butt cheeks on the low.  I was always about the fair exchange.

Let's not even get started on the manipulators; those who lure a good man into the monogomy he THOUGHT he was looking for, move in and trap him at home with her intense jealousy, and as soon as he leaves for work is sleeping with the entire city IN HIS bed!  Get real!  Oh!  Then there are the skanks who make sure to bang all his friends better than and more often than she sleeps with her man.

What about the broads who can't hold water? Tell her about a fetish and all her friends are making inside jokes about you when you walk by...give her a sip of water and watch her pee her pants.  That's an extremely accurate and fair analogy.  Not to say men are innocent, no, I'm the only innocent one.  I'm saying, with myself as an exception, both parties are just as guilty, however, this is about these God forsaken and backward felines cowering behind excuses for themselves.

What kind gutter cun+ ©um dumpster has group sex (1-on-6) with the neighborhood assasin squad, without protection, spreads the resulting diseases to subsequent poor perverts who genuinely adore her, blames THAT guy when she get's caught up, traps him with a baby that isn't his, and robs him for child support for 18 years?!  Even better question, how the hell did SHE come out the victor?!  This society is truly messed up.

The jerk get's all the booty, the good guy get's his life ruined, and the she-demon reaps the reward.  If I didn't love them so much I'd hate women.  I've been happier alone than I ever have been with a lover.

This has been a public service announcement.  That is all.

I Am God

The other day I was in a chatroom participating in a trending topic.  The topic was: I remember.  We flooded the room with things we remembered from "back in the day," everything from popular Kool-Aid flavors to kindergarten crushes.  We randomly threw sweet old recollections at each other for more than 2 hours.  The sentiment flowed rapidly from each handset almost as if we were in one enormous conference call with old friends...though we were all strangers.  My thoughts became solemn and I suddenly exited the chat.

What were my thoughts [Obviously bitter...]?  Yes, Nick, extremely bitter [Figures...].  As expected of you, Mr. Marshall, welcome back.  My thoughts were of the bright side of my younger years [As if you're that old...] [He is!  Hahahahaha!!!].  Quiet!  Both of you!  This is serious [...] [...]!  The memories, only bitter due to the loss of the experience, once seemed so far away...how quickly they came back to haunt me.

I remembered a better time, a time when people relied heavily on one another.  I remembered my strength, my greatest attributes which had revealed themselves in the Spring of my youth.  I had remembered when people believed in me.  Just the thought of another trusting in my abilities pains me these days.  I had become accustomed to being alone and having no one even notice I exist.

At some point in my early life I could do absolutely anything.  My genius only intimidated other geniuses around me.  I was Mr. Unlimited Potential...and, trust me, it was entirely true.  I had a mind for anything, a talent to match, and enough life experience to shame these Hip-Hop posers before I turned 11.  The sky was the limit though I aimed to fly beyond the very boundries of the cosmos themselves.

In spite of my many talents and high IQ I was just another victim of poverty.  My family never had much money and those who were fortunate enough to earn substantial amounts became estranged soon after.  With heavy violent, drug related, and gang activities surrounding me I was doomed to suffer through a troubled life.  Constantly abused, stolen from, and cheated...not enough money to eat at times...we struggled considerably.  It's always the same story, right?

If you assume this is the same story you're wrong.  This isn't the trademark response you receive from other artists who fabricate their lives.  I went to good schools until I reached high school, I joined organizations to stay out of trouble, I traveled, I studied, and tried to socialize with the most positive influences I could find.  I craved a better life despite my circumstances.  I ran into trouble often though I worked exceptionally hard to keep the news from falling on the ears of those I held dear.  I was truly a troubled youth but not a problematic one...although I was profiled as such.

Finally, after so much conflict and falling deeper into delinquincy regardless of my efforts not to, I broke.  I couldn't take anymore.  Someone once had the audacity to tell me I make excuses for others like me, that we encountered what we experienced by choice, that we weren't strong or responsible enough to utilize our other options.  She told me we don't and would not amount to anything because our wills were/are weak.  I spoke on this blindly self-centered young lady before with more ambiguity in an earlier update...she couldn't have been more wrong.

She didn't have to endure the same problems or think her way through the same situations, she wasn't surrounded by the same people or raised in the same environment as I, she knows nothing of real strife.  She caught a lucky break and moved away from poverty, her lack of open perception and maturity causing her to shut out the truth of the world around her.  Her great arrogance and stupidly blind faith causing her to make irrational and prejudiced judgements about the "havenots" she fails to properly understand or even acknowledge as people.

People like said individual are whom I am referring when I speak of people believing in myself and others.  Had I not given my all, would I be so well spoken?  Would I have moved from those neighborhoods if I weren't exercising all my options?  Could I control losing the only male role model I had been given to follow at an early age?  Is it MY fault the rest of society is so sorry?  Am I able to change the hearts and minds of wicked politicians, abusive parents, gang bangers, bullies, prostitutes, hoodrats, and posers?  Can I teach a self-proclaimed prophet or open that leader to other findings beneficial to his/her quest to find the true path of righteousness?  Can I teach said prophet what they preach about is essentially wrong as it doesn't literally and/or logically follow the literature before them?  I cannot!

Believe me, I've tried.  Why do you think I write these words?  I can't control who refuses to read them.  I make jokes to brighten my mood because my depression is spawned by the poor state of the world around me.  I stand alone amongst billions and fight a great war by myself.  Those I once called comrades all fallen or defected, taking up arms with the enemy.  People fight a devil that exists only in their imaginations whilst I battle a great demon that exists in the flesh of other human beings...and even my own.

I see the wretched creature for what it is and not for what everyone wishes it to be.  Because of this I am bound, gagged, beaten, and persecuted for my sight and my vision; exiled for my knowledge.  I'm tormented by lonliness as others view my very existence as taboo.  All my attempts have been thwarted by the devil hiding within the people who've been fooled into believing they're winning the battle against it.  In truth, they only protect it.  Flattering a disgusted God and singing songs in an asylum will not destroy a being that may conference with God whenever it so chooses (laughs).  Such foolishness! 

If that were true, heretics and murderers wouldn't continue to be what they are outside of the sanctuary.  If that were true, that holy water would boil the flesh of all who receive it and that palm oil would seep into their pores and melt their brains.  Singing compliments shall not be your salvation.  Trusting in those God has placed in your life is true faith.  Real faith is not blind, logically speaking, it can't be.  The fact anything exists at all is evidence of that.  You tell me, "Just pray and be patient, God will pull you through."  I call you an idiot because you have everything I need yet you stand before me and deny me access to it.  My prayers were answered the day you were born and your way of thinking has completely contradicted your whole purpose for being.

People would rather run around with their own imaginary image of God instead of accepting what God really is...life.  God is literally everything.  And even as I believe in everything...no one allows anything to believe in me. 

I remember a time when people believed in me...